Escape to Paradise: Charming Cottage in Steenwijkerland (Dishwasher!)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive HEADFIRST into "Escape to Paradise: Charming Cottage in Steenwijkerland (Dishwasher!)" and let's just say, my inner critic is already screaming, "What did you get yourself into?!" But hey, that's the fun of it, right? Let's see if this place ACTUALLY lives up to the name. You know, 'cause paradise is a BIG promise.
First Impressions (and my own personal anxieties about Dutch rural life)
So, Steenwijkerland. Dutch countryside. I'm picturing windmills, tulips, and… well, a whole lotta quiet. Which, honestly, is either a blessing or a curse, depending on how much coffee I've had and how desperately I'm trying to avoid the world. This charming cottage is… charmingly situated, which is code for "probably a bit off the beaten track, which is good/bad depending on how much you like your phone."
Let’s start with the nitty-gritty: Accessibility. Now, I'm thankfully able-bodied, BUT I always pay attention to this. Because, you know, everyone deserves a vacation. The listing doesn't scream "wheelchair accessible," but…hey, look at that! "Facilities for disabled guests" is listed. So, we're off to a decent start. I'd be curious to know exactly what that entails, though. You know, whether it’s a ramp and a grab bar or a slightly larger doorway. Gotta call and check, people!
Hitting the WIFI Button and other Modern Necessities
Okay, crucial stuff. Internet. Thank. God. I need my fix of "cat videos that teach me about quantum physics," or whatever ridiculousness I'm into that day.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! - Praise be! This is a must. I mean, how am I supposed to escape if I can't Instagram my escape? (I’m kidding… mostly). Gotta check the speed though. Nothing worse than buffering while you're trying to stream a documentary on the mating habits of the Venezuelan red-footed tarantula. (Don't judge my internet preferences).
- Internet [LAN] - Okay, for the gamer in the family - or the workaholic. Useful if you're dragging a laptop along, though I'm picturing this place more as a digital detox retreat.
- Internet services - unspecified. Curious. Does this mean tech support? Or do they just have the internet… and that’s it?
Relaxation Central: The Spa and Beyond (or, My Quest for Ultimate Chill)
Alright, time for the good stuff. The stuff that makes you say “ahhh.” Let's talk Spa/Sauna, because that's where I'm going to live, okay?
- Spa/sauna: YES! I need to sweat out the stress of, well, everything.
- Sauna: The detail I wanted to see. I love a good sauna. Especially after a bad day.
- Steamroom: Oooooh, this is good too! I like to imagine I'm a little cloud, just drifting around… (don’t worry, I'll still keep it to myself).
- Pool with view: You know what? This is good. A view. You need a view. Let's hope it's of rolling fields and not the back of a gas station.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Hello summer! I could easily lounge by the pool all day. If my skin wasn’t so pale.
The Rest of the Relaxation Arsenal:
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage: Excellent to pamper myself.
- Gym/fitness: Ugh. Okay, I should probably use that. If I can peel myself away from the sauna. Maybe.
- Poolside bar: Okay, now you're talking. Let's get this party started! (Well, a relaxed party… probably with a book).
The Reality Check: Cleanliness, Safety, and COVID-19 (the Current Boogeyman)
Look, I’m no germaphobe, but I want to feel safe and clean. Especially these days.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Okay, good. Really good. That’s what I want to hear. The “we are taking this seriously” statement.
- Hand sanitizer, Staff trained in safety protocol: Bonus points.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Safe dining setup: Makes sense.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Great for people who are overly cautious.
- Individually-wrapped food options: sigh Well, it’s safe… and I guess it’s fine.
- Sterilizing equipment: Good for them!
The Dining Situation: Buffet Bonanza or Gourmet Delights?
Okay, let's eat! This is where things can get… interesting.
- Breakfast [buffet] is listed. Which is good. But can I have a decent coffee?
- A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Poolside bar, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant: A good variety. I'm hoping for international and vegetarian options and the details here are just making me hungry.
- Bottle of water: a nice touch.
- Room service [24-hour]: YES! For those times when I just don't want to leave my fluffy bathrobe.
- * Restaurant: This looks promising and I can't wait to see what they have to offer!
Services and Conveniences: Does this place actually help me?
Okay, let's see if this place is actually convenient.
- Concierge: Helpful for getting around (which I'll need!), finding places to visit or just generally when things get complicated.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange: Practical necessities.
- Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Laundry service, Ironing service: Praise be! Vacations should NOT involve chores!
- Elevator: Essential!
- Facilities for disabled guests, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes: Good.
- Food delivery: Helpful.
- Gift/souvenir shop, Convenience store: Helpful.
- Air conditioning in public area, Elevator: Great to know!
- Smoking area, Terrace: Cool if the weather's right.
- * Business facilities, Seminars, Meeting/banquet facilities, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities: Useful for business or if you want to use this venue for an event.
For the Kids (and the Inner Child in Me)
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Good to know, even for me!
The Fine Print and the Nitty-Gritty: What's Actually in My Room?
Okay, let's talk about what's inside the charming cottage. This is where dreams can either be made… or utterly crushed by a lack of decent lighting.
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: Ok, this is a pretty good list. I mean, blackout curtains? YES. Coffee maker? YES. Towels? Hopefully fluffy ones! Free Wi-Fi? We've established that's a necessity. And a window that opens? Crucial for fresh air and escaping… if necessary! Hopefully a window with a view.
- Additional toilet: Not always listed and very important!
The Quirky Observations (Because I Can't Help Myself)
- "Dishwasher!" - It’s a selling point. And a good one! That alone makes me want to book this place. No one wants to do dishes on vacation! (Unless you like dishes. Which, I have questions).
- "Proposal spot" Okay… so, I’m not proposing, but I love the thought of someone else doing so, under such a roof.
- Room decorations: That’s going to be a matter of personal taste. Please don’t be too
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. We're going to Steenwijkerland, Netherlands, and frankly, I'm already vibrating with excitement. Or maybe it's just the caffeine. Either way, let's dive into this glorious, messy, probably-going-to-be-slightly-chaotic adventure to a beautiful cottage with a dishwasher (hallelujah!).
The "Pretty Much Winging It" Steenwijkerland Extravaganza (aka My Soul's Vacation)
Day 1: Arrival and the Sweet, Sweet Dishwasher Victory
- Morning (and probably early afternoon, because let's be real, travel is exhausting): Arrive at Schiphol Airport. Settle in. I'm already picturing myself, squinting at the sun and trying to remember if I packed enough snacks. Car rental pickup. Pray to the gods of navigation that the GPS doesn't decide to do a "Lost in Translation" on me.
- Late Afternoon: Embark on a road trip to Steenwijkerland. The scenery? Expect windmills, cows looking judgmental (they always do, those cows), and the overwhelming urge to pull over and take a million photos.
- Evening: THE ARRIVAL! Find the cottage. Struggle with the key (it's always the key, isn't it?). Unpack (slowly and dramatically). And then… gasp… THE DISHWASHER! Honestly, the promise of not hand-washing dishes is more exciting than the Eiffel Tower right now. I could weep tears of joy. Cook something ridiculously easy. Toast to the dishwasher and to a week of blissful relaxation.
- Rambling Thought: I bet the Dutch have some secret, dishwasher-optimizing technique. Like, a specific way to load it that maximizes space and efficiency. I need to learn this. Maybe I will dedicate an entire afternoon to it.
Day 2: Canals, Clumsiness, and Culinary Disasters (Maybe)
- Morning: Explore Giethoorn, the "Venice of the Netherlands." Rent a boat. Try not to look like a complete idiot while navigating the canals. (Spoiler alert: I probably will look like a complete idiot.) Pray I don't accidentally ram into someone's perfectly manicured flower boxes. Imagine a world of tiny canals, thatched roofs, bridges, and a total lack of cars. It's practically a fairy tale!
- Afternoon: Cycle through the countryside. I'm not a natural cyclist. I haven't ridden a bike seriously since I was about 10, so expect a lot of lurching, near-collisions with bewildered geese, and possibly requiring a tow-truck.
- Evening: Dinner in Giethoorn. Seek out a cozy restaurant. Try some traditional Dutch food. Embrace the potential for culinary disaster. I'm picturing myself ordering something exotic, not being able to pronounce a single ingredient, and then desperately trying to figure out what I’m actually eating. Laugh it off.
- Emotional Reaction: Okay, so I'm a little intimidated by the cycling. But also, the thought of pedaling slowly through that beautiful countryside? Pure serotonin. I can feel the wind in my theoretical hair already.
Day 3: Windmills, Wind and a Whole Lot of Cheese.
- Morning: Visit Kinderdijk. Windmills! SO MANY WINDMILLS! Marvel at the engineering. Take approximately 500 photos. Wonder if I can convince my landlord to install one in my back garden (probably not, sadly).
- Afternoon: Cheese tasting in a local farm shop. Load up on cheese. Maybe a few other Dutch treats. Enjoy the sheer, unadulterated joy of cheese.
- Evening: Head back to the cottage. Cook, and relax. Read, watch TV, maybe just stare out the window. Enjoy the peacefulness.
- Quirky Observation: I wonder if cows have a favorite type of Dutch cheese. I really need to ask a cow.
Day 4: The Day I Become a Rembrandt Expert (and Probably Fail Miserably)
- Morning: Visit an art museum (maybe the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.. or maybe the local museum. I'm easily overwhelmed. I feel like Amsterdam requires its own trip). Pretend to understand art. Stare intently at a Rembrandt. Try to decipher the hidden meaning behind the brushstrokes. Possibly weep at the beauty of it all.
- Afternoon: Wandering and shopping. Find a souvenir. Try not to overspend. Get lost in a maze of cobblestone streets and quirky shops.
- Evening: Prepare a fancy meal at the cottage. Get all the Dutch food together. Try to cook it all! and then eat it at the dining table with a view.
- Opinionated Language: Okay, I know everyone says you have to see the Rijksmuseum, and I probably should. But sometimes I get a bit…burnt out of art history. The thought of wandering around the galleries is still fun, but the logistics of a big city can be a bit exhausting.
Day 5: Water, Wind, and Maybe a Little Bit of Panic
- Morning: A boat trip on the lakes, maybe the Weerribben-Wieden National Park. Take some time to be active. Feel utterly insignificant and at peace simultaneously.
- Afternoon: Explore some of the local villages. Maybe get lost again (it's bound to happen). Enjoy the slow pace of life.
- Evening: Another delicious meal at the cottage, and enjoy another quiet night.
- Anecdote: Okay, confession time. I almost fell off a boat in the Panama Canal once. And I have a slight fear of deep water, which is inconvenient when you're surrounded by water. So, here's hoping my boating skills have improved… or that I don't encounter any rogue waves.
Day 6: The Deep Dive into Relaxation (and Maybe a Little Adventure)
- Morning: Sleep in. Seriously, luxuriate in the silence (or the gentle rustling of cows in the distance). Drink coffee. Read a book. Just… breathe.
- Afternoon: Head off to a local spa. Get a massage. Let go of all the stresses of life. Get all the body and mental energy ready for the departure.
- Evening: Last meal in the cottage. A toast. Some reflection on the adventures of the week.
- Stream-of-Consciousness: Okay, so the spa is a must. And after that massage, I might just spontaneously burst into tears of pure contentment. Or fall asleep in the sauna. Either way, it's going to be glorious.
Day 7: Farewell, Dishwasher, and Hello, Reality!
- Morning: Pack. Clean the cottage (mostly). Say a tearful goodbye to the dishwasher.
- Afternoon: Drive back to the airport. Return the car with minimal trauma. Board the flight. Start planning the next adventure!
- Evening: Arrive back home, slightly sunburnt, slightly more relaxed, and already craving a return trip to the Netherlands.
And finally:
- Imperfection Alert: This itinerary is fluid. It's a suggestion. It's a wish list. It's a love letter to the idea of slow travel. Things will change. Plans will be abandoned. I will probably get lost. But that's the beauty of it, isn't it? Embrace the chaos. Embrace the dishwasher. Embrace the Netherlands!
- Final Emotional Response: I am immensely excited about this trip. I know it is going to be amazing and I am looking forward to it so much.
Seriously, is it *charming*? Like, REAL charming?
Okay, okay, let's address the elephant in the room – the 'charming' adjective. Look, the pictures are good. But real life? Well… it *tries* to be charming. Think less "Pinterest perfect" and more "Grandma's cozy living room" – in a good way! There's a slightly wonky beam in the kitchen that really gets me. It's like the house is winking at you, saying, "Yeah, I'm not perfect, but I'm lovable." I’d say yes, it is charming, in a slightly dishevelled, lived-in sort of way. Don't expect a minimalist palace; expect a place that feels like it's been lovingly occupied for decades. Which, I suspect, it has.
The dishwasher… it actually *works*, right? The ad emphasizes it (and understandably so!).
Oh, the dishwasher. Yes. It *works*. Glory be! I cannot express the sheer joy of not hand-washing after a hearty meal of Dutch fries and bitterballen. My partner, bless their heart, is terrible at washing dishes. It’s a point of contention we’d had in a number of past holidays, so THIS was a BIG selling point for me. The dishwasher is a genuine lifesaver, especially after a long day of cycling around the canals. It's not exactly top-of-the-line – it hums a bit, and sometimes the dishes come out with a few rogue droplets – but it gets the job done! And honestly, the peace of mind alone is worth its weight in stroopwafels.
What's the deal with Steenwijkerland itself? Seems… quiet.
Quiet? Ha! That’s one way to put it. Steenwijkerland is the definition of "bijzonder". It's a place where time slows down. You're not going to find thumping nightclubs or neon lights, that’s for sure. It's all about canals, windmills, and the gentle *plink* of a cowbell in the distance. The silence is, surprisingly, what got me. The mental space that opens up when all the background noise of modern life falls away... it's incredible. We were there for three days, and I'd say it took about 24 hours to fully decompress. But once you do? Pure bliss. Bring a good book (or three!), because evenings are all about curling up by the fire after a long day of cycling around the local area - just be sure to be home before it gets dark, the streetlighting isn't great.
Okay, let's talk about the WiFi. Because, you know, a modern life.
Ah, WiFi. The bane of my existence and the lifeline of my sanity. The listing mentioned WiFi, which was a must, as I had to do some work remotely. And it *did* work. Mostly. Let's just say it's not the fastest internet in the world. You might want to download that movie before you arrive. Streaming was a bit… hit-or-miss, but emails and basic web browsing were manageable. You'll find yourself embracing a more relaxed pace of life. Honestly, in Steenwijkerland, you probably *should* put your phone away and just *be*. But still, a heads-up: don't expect lightning-fast speeds. Embrace the opportunity to actually *disconnect*. That's what I ended up doing, and it was truly liberating. I only did some *essential* work, which was actually really nice.
Any downsides? Be honest. Because, you know, "perfect" places are always a lie…
Okay, deep breath. Yes. There were a couple of… *minor* imperfections. Firstly, the stairs. Steep. Very steep. I'm not a spring chicken, and going up and down them with luggage was an adventure. Then there's the parking. The parking is also a wee bit tricky. You didn't park right outside the door, which meant hauling groceries. On-street parking, or at one of the local dedicated spots. It's not a deal-breaker, but it's worth knowing. Finally, the weather. We had… variable weather. One day a torrential downpour flooded the garden! The location is a bit remote, so bringing groceries or going to the supermarket requires some form of transport. But, honestly? None of this massively bothered me. These little things add to the character. This is a proper lived-in holiday; it's not a luxury hotel, it's much better!
Tell me about the beds. Are they comfy? Because a bad bed can ruin a whole holiday.
The beds! Oh, the beds. Were they comfy? Yes! Very! We're coming to the good stuff now. I slept as well as I've slept in years. I have a bad back, so this matters. They were firm, but not rock-hard, with lovely soft bedding. I couldn't fault them. I’m not a fan of super-soft beds and the beds at the cottage were perfect. You know that feeling when you sink into a bed and just… melt? It was like that. My partner loved them too. We both slept like logs. I'd happily live in that bed. In fact, I’m seriously considering upgrading our bed at home because of the experience! Seriously, if you're a light sleeper or have a bad back, you'll be happy. They're the kind of beds that make you want to linger in the morning, which is exactly what we did.”
Would you go back? (Be honest again!)
Absolutely! In a heartbeat. The imperfections are part of the charm. The dishwasher is a game-changer. The beds are divine. Steenwijkerland is a revelation. If you're looking for a place to truly *escape* from the everyday grind, this is it. I left the cottage a changed woman. I'm more relaxed, more present, and I've got a renewed appreciation for a good cup of tea and a quiet evening. I'm already planning when to go back. Just… remind me to pack extra phone chargers. And maybe learn a few Dutch phrases… or not. It's nice just to switch off and just… *be*. Highly recommended! Just book it. You won't regret it (unless you *hate* charm, in which case, maybe stick to a chain hotel…)
